Evolution

So, here I am, in beautiful Hawaii. My baby girl LOVES her new home and school and to top it all off got a job on her second day here at PCC. She is on top of her life and doing well in her classes. She is making new friends and being her amazing self and LIVING out loud studying, surfing, swimming and socializing. She loves it and is already talking about staying. I'll be surprised if she leaves in December. It is a perfect fit for her and I am thrilled that she is here! It's amazing to see her so confident and competent at such a young age.

Like Grae, Mason, as usual, is making life exactly what he wants it to be. He is continuing to cement his character and reputation with everyone he comes in contact with as he works and plays and serves others. He continues to prepare for his mission with progress steady and sure. About a week after I get home, he and I are going to take a road trip to Portland for Owen and Chelsea's wedding and then go from there for week to Utah together. I'm really looking forward to that time with him. It's hard not to notice the growth and maturity in him.

That leaves me. This trip has been so good for me. I've had a lot of time to rest and recover from a very difficult period in my life. It may well be the most time I have ever spent alone in my life. And to my surprise, I'm enjoying the solitude and peace I have away from the responsibilities of home. I have enjoyed having the time these last 10 days to focus on eating right, exercising, reading and praying and thinking about where I came from, where I'm going and why I'm here. I've come to realize that its time to do what I have been trying to teach my children to do all these years. I need to grow and learn and become all that I am meant to be. That means deciding where I want to go and be and then doing the things that will take me there. So, of course, I am making lists. :) Lists of things I always wanted to do and be. Things well within my reach and other just beyond my reach for now but will be attainable with a little stretching. All things that will help me to be more grateful, more hopeful, more confident, more happy, and more like my Savior. I feel the opportunity to throw off the chains of bad habits formed over the years and be free of that which keeps me and my world small and so much less than it could be. Its time to rise from the dust and droop in sin no more!

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~E.E. Cummings

This is an amazing time. I have so much to be grateful for. My son has, in the last year, become a man. It was not by accident, either. He chose it. One choice at a time, Mason has become a man. These are not easy choices, nor are they few. To become a man requires that you make many difficult choices that are consistantly wise and often mean a measure of short term sacrifice. Growing up is a conscious effort. One cannot be compelled to do it. You must chose it and do it all on your own. It's a powerful process to watch and so rewarding for a mother to see her son do it so well. So reassuring to realize that your son understands the concept of self discipline and the desire to do what's right. Those things, along with a strong work ethic, an ability to think clearly and critically and a love of people are a foundation that will help him find success in life no matter where life finds him. This is my boy. How I love and admire him.

Ch-ch-ch-changes....

For years now, I have known that just after my 42nd birthday I would be facing an empty nest. I have to say it is something I have faced with a certain amount of dread. 2010 has taunted me, coming closer every year and now it's here.

In one week, I will board a plane with my baby girl bound for Hawaii where she will start college at BYU Hawaii. How did that happen? My sweet little ladybug is all grown up and off to her freshman year in college. Wasn't it just yesterday that she wanted to be a flamingo when she grew up so she could be "pink all over" and "quarter", "Cory" and "kool-aid" all sounded like the same word? I will ever miss days filled with baby dolls and pricess dresses, a trail of dandilions when she came from outside, and giggles and sweet little girl songs ringing from her room. Even more I will miss a house full of teenagers, tents aglow in the backyard on summer nights, mountains of clothes on her bedroom floor and 4 different colors of flipflops next to the front door. Being her mother has been the joy of my life. I couldn't have asked for more in a daughter. She fulfilled every dream I'd ever had for a daughter. I love you bug. Truly I am blessed beyond measure.